Recognize the signs

How do you show your love ?
Do you give them flowers or chocolates? Do you take them for a meal or cook a special dinner for them ? Saying "I love you" .Those are the obvious romatic gesture.

But infact there is an infinite number of ways to show someone you love them.Every little thing they do that they didn't have to,that they only did because they wanted to please you,is their way of saying,"I love you".

We should able to  recognize these signs for what they are,not only will your partner feel their love is appreciated,but you 'll feel even more contented and  happy once you realize that every cup of coffee is just a secret code for "I love you".

The gesture of love aren't always doing things for you either.Sometimes it can be giving you a bit of freedom,if that's what you crave.A simple hug and trust given to you partner etc.

This is another way of saying "I love you ".

So please dont't berate your partner for not showering with cliched romance.

"Every little thing they do that they didn't have to is their way of saying "I Love you " .

Know when to listen and when to act

When someone tells us they have a problem.We try to solve it.Seem obvious to us.But apprently,that's not what's wanted.

Some problems, of course do require action.If your partner calls to say they're stuck in a traffic jam and they won't be home in time to pick up the kids,the odds are they're looking for you to step into breach. But when they come home telling you they've fallen out with someone at work,they dont't neccessarily want advice.What they want is for you to listen and let them know they're being reasonable.They want permission to feel upset or angry or hurt...

We humans are strange creatures,and we do need to know that our reactions and behaviour are acceptable.And your partner is asking you to reinforce their feeling by accepting them as normal.That's why they'll get frustrated if before they've finished talking,you're leaping up .They dont't need you to do that or any actions.They just want you to tell them they 're not overreacting or being unreasonable. You can always ask ,"Do you want advice or do you just need to get it off your chest?"

They need you to confirm that they have been through a frustrating /scary/upsetting/worrying/infuriating experience, and your sympathize and the way they felt was entirely understandable.

Guilt is a selfish emotion

If we feel guilty, we are in no position to extend love properly towards other people.

When we feel guilty,what is that feeling all about ?Me, that's what it's about. How do I feel, what is going on here for ME ? It's entirely self-centred,and seeks to take the focus away from the object of our guilt ;the loved one we let down some way.

The past has gone,we can't change it  (This was shared by someone whom very special,thanks) . If there's anything we can do to put it right.please go and do it .If there isn't we can either accept it and learn the lessons.We should not wallow in it what is past .

"In order to love people usefully we need to be focused on them and not on ourself "

Say so with humour

"If little things annoy you,say so with humour "

What annoy us about our partner ? There 's got to be loads of things. Let's see, change channel on the TV without asking you first ?Interrupt you when you are in mid-sentence? I bet there are loads of little things that wind you up.It's unavoidable.Of course we need to be tolerant, and cant ask them to change their personality but I mean,honestly do they have to bang the front door so loudly? Or show unhappinese face or emotional in public ?

It's amazing how such little things can really get to you.If you are finding it impossible to be tolerant,it's much better to let your partner know how you feel than get increasingly frustrated and irritated.

Always use humour to let your partner know what bugs you.

"If you are going to dish it out, you have got to be able to take it "